Advice for Adele

My friend Mike Richeson (check out his blog here) wrote an amazing series of blogs to his son Caleb. His posts have inspired me to write some words of wisdom for my darling daughter. I have been telling her about the world as we sit and rock, but I better get everything down on virtual paper before "baby brain" (it's not just during pregnancy) takes over and I forget all the wonderful things I want to tell Adele.






Beautiful girl,


First of all, you are my pride and joy. While I was pregnant with you I stumbled upon a quote that sums up how I feel now that you are here.

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

Elizabeth Stone You are my heart and I love you more than you will ever know. Please know and never forget that I would do anything in the world for you.  Within a few days of your arrival in this world, I noticed how strong you are. Your strength goes beyond just the physical. You are smart, opinionated (you get most of this from your father, although he will tell you I am quite stubborn and opinionated as well) and will go far in life with these traits and the other wonderful characteristics you possess. Continue to be a strong woman. Things are easier for me today than they were for my grandmothers and mother, but there are still some injustices in this world geared toward females. I hope you are never told you can't do something because you are a girl. If you are, stand your ground and do it anyway. You can do anything you put your mind to. Be kind to people no matter where they come from, what they look like or how different they may be from you. Be generous with you time, money and kindness. But do not give of yourself too much that you become a doormat. There are people in this world who will try to take advantage of you. Do not let them, but do not become cynical or hard because there are also plenty of people who need a compassionate soul to help them. Do not be afraid to explore and try new things. If I had not dared to try something new and have an adventure I would not have the life I do now. Moving to Montana, where I didn't know a single person, was scary but I did it and I am so glad. It was the first step in becoming your mommy. My adventures living on my own far away from the familiar and comfortable have been hard, fun and quite the learning experience. I have failed and I have found success. New friends have come into my life and become like family. Most importantly, I took another big chance and put my heart on the line. It is so worth the risk when you find someone with a good soul like your daddy. He is not perfect, but neither am I. We love each other despite our flaws and promise to love you just the same. Your father wants me to add that you should always listen to your parents, especially your father. Father knows best. Daddy likes to brag about how he is always right. He's telling the truth. He is right 99% of the time (see I'm stubborn and won't give in and say he is right 100% of the time). It can get a little annoying, but it's best that you start to figure this out now. There is so much more to tell you, but I hope that we have a long time together as mother and daughter to talk about anything and everything.  Love, Mommy

The Beginning

There's no better place to start than the beginning. It all began last summer when I met Fred. We are both involved in education, Minnesota sports fans, Democrats, and all-around amazing people (we're both really modest too). We had enough in common that I agreed to have dinner with him when he was in the Helena area. I wanted to make sure that he was as charming as I remembered and that our age difference (about 11 years) wasn't going to be a problem). Dinner went well, we got to know each other better over the next couple of months and fell in love. Now here we are less than a year later with a beautiful baby girl - Adele.



Adele arrived in this world April 22, 2011 at 7:07 a.m. Fred arrived at the hospital just in time after a seven hour drive. I arrived at the hospital the night before to get checked after being in some pain. The nurse assured me that I was indeed in labor and gave me two options. I could stay at the hospital or go home with some sleeping pills and return when the contractions were stronger and closer together. I chose the second option and returned to the hospital a little less than three house later. I was lucky to have two good friends in the delivery room with me and good thing too because labor and delivery went quickly.

Just as quickly as she arrived, Adele quickly changed my life, priorities, worries, and joys.  She and I were able to spend around a week with Fred and my parents before they had to return to work. Now it's just us girls (and Mickey the cat) in our little apartment. It hasn't been easy to be a "single mom." Fred returns to Helena in early June. By then I hope I have things figured out more than I currently do. I had no choice as a mom but to change my schedule/abandon my own to meet Adele's needs and wants, which for a tiny baby are a lot. I naively hoped in the first couple of days alone with her that we were getting into a routine. I learned that babies like to switch things up when you least expect it or want it.

Weight fell off of both Adele and I after she was born. That has been one of my main worries. My baby girl wasn't gaining weight as quickly as she should. I felt, of course, like a horrible mom. Why wasn't she gaining weight fast enough? I must be doing something wrong, right? Even after being told many times I was doing a good job I didn't believe it until her most recent doctor's appointment when the numbers on the scale jumped. This visit came the morning after a long night with a very hungry and fussy baby. I had to turn to formula to calm her down and fill her tummy despite my previous hesitancy of introducing it to her this early. I feel better now knowing that even though things aren't going exactly as planned, they had to change to make things better for Adele.

That's all I want in this world. I want things to be better for my daughter. She's going to love me because I feed her, cuddle her, give her kisses and teach her about this crazy world. I think we are off to a good start (I can say that as the "new-mom guilt" fades). We have a lot of friends who are helping Mommy out. Adele is changing every day and I feel so blessed to have her in my life. Let the fun continue!